One of the most important things for couples to be able to do is repair. If there was an incident or argument that caused one or both of you to be in distress, repair moves you back into harmony, or at least to a neutral...
Intimate relationships are like a house. When partners can create a supportive and secure environment, they can love and be loved for being as they are – perfectly imperfect. We can call this home. Home allows intimacy to grow, as deep intimacy can only grow...
Like most human interactions, sex is complex. We tend to assign a great deal of meaning to it, and may face an array of sexual dysfunctions, not to mention differences in libido. At the same time, we often think it should be natural and easy,...
I come from a family where we didn't talk much about emotions. There wasn't much of, "You seem sad, Jason -- let's talk it through." In our family playbook, one move to get someone to initiate repair was by withdrawing. The basic idea behind this...
Having a healthy filter is important for partners in a relationship and for our day-to-day interactions with anyone who has a proclivity for pushing our buttons. So what is a healthy filter? It’s our ability to filter what is being said or not said to...
A common way we get into trouble in intimate relationships is through projection. We project onto our partner how we think they should be or act, usually through the lens of how we learned to be and act from our parents . We may have...