Every couple faces challenges in their relationship. The key is understanding that these challenges are normal, and that seeking help does not mean something is wrong with you.
It means you are sane and want to try something different by finding a guide.
Couples therapy can be an invaluable resource.
It provides guidance, insight, and support because we, as couples therapists, are not in your relationship and can offer more perspective.
We naturally bring a settled mental state that can provide clarity, as we don’t have the accumulated history and experiences you two have that can sometimes cloud the present.
If you’re considering couples therapy in Denver, this guide will help you understand what to expect and how to find the best therapist for your needs.
Understanding Couples Counseling
Couples counseling, often called marriage counseling or relationship therapy, is a form of psychotherapy designed to help couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts to enhance their relationships.
Couples therapists will help you understand underlying patterns – learned growing up or from past relationships – that keep you stuck.
Couples therapy helps you understand and take responsibility for your personal side of the dance, and through accountability and action, you’ll have the power to change it so you will most likely be able to get what you want.
As a result, you will have agency to spend less time disconnected and more time connected.
You will also know how to repair if you find the relationship falling into the negative pattern again.
Learn more about our Relationship Recovery Model.
The Goals of Couples Therapy
The main goal of couples therapy is to help you achieve your relationship goals, and the best way to do that is by improving the quality of your relationship.
Our framework is guiding you two to a relationship that is collaborative, equal, kind, and passionate.
This involves learning about each other’s vulnerabilities and what makes each other feel loved.
With this insight, couples therapy offers effective communication techniques and problem-solving skills grounded in agreements.
Common Practices in Counseling Sessions
At the beginning, the couples therapist learns about your relationship – your dance, strengths, histories, and motivations.
Your therapist will learn each partner’s perspective on the issues and synthesize them into a workable plan for your relationship goals.
This open dialogue helps identify the root causes of your conflicts.
Our therapists want the best part of you to show up in the relationship. In RLT language, we call that your “wise adult” part – the part of you that is interested in using the tools we teach and in the health of the relationship.
We help you work with your adaptations you may have learned growing up that were adaptive then but are maladaptive now.
For example, you needed loud anger to protect yourself psychologically growing up, but nowadays it’s maladaptive because you can use more sophisticated tools as an adult. You can also learn to care for those younger parts that get triggered.
Over time, you’ll learn to communicate more effectively, express your wants and needs without anger or resentment, and listen to your partner’s concerns with empathy and understanding.
Debunking Myths About Couples Therapy
Many people have misconceptions about what couples therapy entails. Here are a few common myths and the realities behind them:
- Myth: Therapy is only for couples in crisis. Reality: While therapy can be incredibly beneficial for couples in distress, it is also useful for those who want to strengthen their relationship and learn new communication skills.
- Myth: Couples counseling ignores underlying patterns. Reality: Couples often get stuck in negative cycles (e.g., one pursues, the other withdraws). Counseling helps identify these patterns, understand their origins, and find a way out.
- Myth: Talking about family of origin is about blaming parents. Reality: Discussing your family of origin helps you understand how your upbringing influences your current relationship patterns. It's about gaining insight, not assigning blame.
- Myth: We don’t take sides. Reality: In RLT therapy, we align with the “wise adult” part of you to help you navigate younger, or adaptive, reflexes that were learned growing up.
How to Choose the Best Couples Therapist in Denver
Price
The average rate for master' s-level clinicians in couples therapy is about $200 per hour.
Insurance can help with the cost. Most therapists can offer “out-of-network” benefits, where you pay for the service and then submit a receipt to your insurance company. Insurance companies may reimburse you for each session.
To learn more about our "out-of-network" calculator, click here.
There are limited options for “in-network” couples therapy. One straightforward way to find these is to visit psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/co/denver, then click the Filters tab, select your Insurance, and select Types of Therapy: Couples Counseling. Hopefully, some helpful results will be available to you.
Check Qualifications
Ensure that your prospective therapist is licensed and has the proper credentials. They should have specialized training in couples therapy using proven methods such as RLT, PACT, EFT, or the Gottman Method.
Our agency prefers RLT, PACT, and Gottman. Here’s some industry insight: All couples therapists believe their approach is the best. I view it as the perspective from the top of the mountain (collaboration, harmony, trust) being the same, but there are different paths (RLT/EFT) to reach it.
Initial Consultation
Many therapists provide an initial consultation, which is required for our agency.
This consultation offers a valuable opportunity to assess your comfort with the therapist and to inquire about their methods and experience.
Trust your instincts – it's crucial for both you and your partner to feel at ease.
Regular Sessions
Couples therapy typically involves regular sessions, often held weekly or biweekly.
Maintaining consistency is essential for making progress. Each session builds on the previous one, enabling you to apply what you've learned in your everyday life.
If regular sessions are too challenging for your schedule, consider intensive couples therapy.
Homework Assignments
Your therapist may assign you exercises or activities to complete between sessions. These tasks are designed to help you practice new skills and reinforce what you've learned.
Our agency provides an app to simplify the homework process with notifications and a place to store your reflections.
Conclusion
Couples therapy can be a powerful way to improve your relationship. By understanding what to expect and how to choose the right therapist, you can take an important step toward a healthier, more fulfilling partnership.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and a commitment to your relationship's future.
In Denver, there are many skilled therapists to choose from. If you'd like to get started in that process, feel free to set up a free consultation with someone from our team.
With the right guidance and support, you can work toward a stronger, more connected relationship!