If talking about your feelings feels awkward, forced, or pointless, that’s understandable.
For many men, emotions were never something to explore. They were something to manage, suppress, or push through.
Growing up, you might have learned—either directly or indirectly—that only certain emotions were acceptable.
Anger? Sure. Desire? Fine.
But sadness, fear, confusion, loneliness? Those often didn’t have a place.
➡ So if you have difficulty putting words to what’s happening inside you, it’s probably not because you’re unwilling. It’s because no one has ever reached in to understand your inner world first.
And honestly? Considering how many men are raised, that totally makes sense.
Why Feelings Matter More Than You Realize
Feelings are a key way humans connect. They reveal who we are, help us understand each other, and foster closeness.
When emotions stay hidden, the people around you—especially your partner—may feel shut out, even if that’s not your intention.
The good news is this: emotional expression is not a personality trait. It is a skill. And skills can be learned.
Small Habits That Make Discussing Feelings Easier
You don’t need to become “emotionally fluent” overnight.
True change happens through small, repeatable habits that grow awareness and confidence over time.
Here are a few that actually work:
1. Start With Awareness, Not Expression
Before you can talk about feelings, you have to notice them.
A simple yet powerful habit is keeping a feelings journal.
Twice a day—perhaps once in the morning and once in the evening—pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? (If you work with us, ask us about our app that sends reminders to do so.)
You don’t need to write a full paragraph. A few words will do.
And remember, you can experience more than one feeling at a time—calm and anxious, grateful and frustrated. The goal isn’t to fix anything; it’s simply to notice.
Why this helps:
Awareness is the foundation. You can’t share what you don’t recognize. Over time, this practice trains your brain to focus on your internal world instead of ignoring it.
2. Share the Highlights with Your Partner
Once you’ve gained some awareness, try sharing small parts of it with your significant other.
This doesn’t mean you need to dump your entire journal or have a deep emotional talk every night.
It can be as simple as: ‘Something I noticed today is that I felt more stressed than I expected,” or ‘I realized I felt really proud after that meeting.”
Why this helps:
If your partner has been asking for more emotional connection, this is your response. You’re allowing them to see you more clearly.
Many couples discover that even minor emotional disclosures can foster a real sense of closeness. At the very least, your partner gets to understand you better—and that’s important.
3. Keep the Bar Low
This work doesn’t require eloquence.
You don’t need the “right” words. You don’t need to explain your feelings perfectly. You just need to show up honestly.
Why this helps: Perfectionism discourages people. Curiosity encourages them. When the goal is just to practice—not to perform—you’re much more likely to keep at it.
What to Avoid When Doing This Work
There’s one major thing to watch out for: judging yourself.
There is no right or wrong way to learn emotional expression.
You’re probably doing something you were never taught and that our culture rarely encourages men to practice. Of course, it feels uncomfortable at first.
Give yourself some grace.
This is new territory. And like anything new, it might feel awkward before it feels natural.
But with practice, many men realize something important: they feel better. More connected. Less lonely. More understood—by others and by themselves.
And that’s not weakness.
That’s growth.
Reach out
Learn more about our Denver couples therapy offerings, and set up a free consultation today.