Intro
Last year, around Christmas time, my wife and I had a show. It was called Finding Mr. Christmas.
This year, we’re watching Season 2…
The basic premise of the show is that the Hallmark Channel is searching for a leading man to star in the next Hallmark Christmas movie.
Jonathan Bennett hosts the show and guides the men through acting, athletic, and talent competitions to find this year's Mr. Christmas.
The show starts with ten men, and each week, one gets eliminated.
The male interactions on the show
Between competitions and Jonathan Bennett’s announcements, the men are shown interacting with each other.
While watching these interactions, I told myself that’s not real. When a group of men gets together like this, my experience is that it’s mostly trash talk and lowbrow jokes.
That’s not how things go in Mr. Christmas: men are emotionally open, supportive of each other, and share their shortcomings and what they want to improve about themselves.
Why do they act like that?
One, it’s a show, and perhaps we’re only seeing the good stuff.
But more importantly, the show conveys who Mr. Christmas is.
Mr. Christmas is a male who is strong, assertive, athletic, and vulnerable, emotionally open, selfless, and kind.
The show created the cultural expectation for this, and if you don’t embody these characteristics, you don’t become Mr. Christmas.
What happens because of this cultural expectation?
The men on the show are allowed to be their authentic selves.
As mentioned earlier, they can be strong, assertive, athletic, and vulnerable, emotionally open, selfless, and kind. They don’t have to hide the latter.
They can form genuine connections with each other through emotional openness.
In season 2, there is a scene where two men are sitting together, sharing the pain of their mothers’ illness. One man expresses regret and sadness for leaving his mom, who was diagnosed with cancer, to be on the show.
The other male expressed sadness and pain for not going home to see his mother before she died.
These two males were able to support each other and form a connection based on this vulnerability. They were able to truly help each other.
Our culture needs to encourage men to do this more.
In another scene, one contestant faced a choice between protecting his own safety (not being cut) or giving the free pass to someone else; he chose generosity and cooperation by giving it to someone else, which Jonathan Bennett praised.
Men are more likely to be their authentic selves when the culture supports and encourages them to do so, as seen on the set of Mr. Christmas.
And if men are encouraged to be their whole selves, they will be happier, less depressed, and less alienated.
Our current culture
Comedian Bill Burr says men are only encouraged to be: angry and fine.
This is like what couples therapist and author Terry Real states, as he says the two emotions men are permitted to experience in our culture are anger and lust.
Imagine if the only male expression on Mr. Christmas was “angry and fine” —or only anger or lust. They would not star in the next Hallmark Christmas movie.
Conclusion
Even if the show's environment is constructed, it suggests that with the right cultural encouragement, men can embrace their full emotional range.
Hallmark’s Finding Mr. Christmas is refreshing and essential because it redefines masculinity in today’s culture by highlighting vulnerability, emotional openness, kindness, and cooperation among men.
Mr. Christmas is an ideal that all men should strive for, as it allows men to break free. To move beyond the facade of invulnerability and anti-dependence.
If we do so, happiness and greater connection will result, and us men will be true providers for our families – both financially and emotionally.
CTA
If you’re a man reading this, take one small step toward “Mr. Christmas” this week: name one real feeling out loud to someone you trust—fear, sadness, pride, hope—whatever’s true. If you’re partnered with a man, make it easier for him by being curious and non-judgmental.
And if you’re looking for help building that kind of emotional strength and connection at home, we’d love to support you.
Reach out and let’s discuss what “strong and open” could look like in your relationship.