Jason A: All right. What’s up everyone? Jason A. Polk here, and coming to you with some Coffee Shop Relationship Advice. As you know, we’re not in the coffee shop. We’re in my office, downtown Denver. Also, it’s been a while since we had an installment of Coffee Shop Relationship Advice. A lot of people have been asking about it, and by a lot of people, I mean two people. But nevertheless, we’re back. And the reason why we haven’t been doing videos is because me and my team, team of one other person, we’ve been putting together an online course. And I’m so excited. We’re going to put a link to it in the comments below in the show notes so you can check it out.

Jason A:

So today, I want to talk about empathy, and ironically, I want to talk about a self-focused empathy practice. And by that it’s putting limits on your speech and behavior. And so my internal dialogue goes something like this, “Jason, you know if you withdraw, it’s not going to land well for Jessica. And if it doesn’t land well for Jessica, in the long run, it’s not going to land well for you.” And so that is putting a limit on my losing strategy of withdraw and doing something like, “Hey babe, I’m overwhelmed. I need to take five minutes then I’ll be back.” And there’s more on that in the course.

Staff:

Shameless plug.

Jason A:

So let’s take another example, driving. Oftentimes, in my office, one partner will be upset with how the other drives. They may drive too aggressively or may have road rage. Let’s see that in action.

Dan:

So, Jason, I can’t control my anger. I have road rage. Mother of (beep).

Madi:

Can you just calm down?

Dan:

I can’t calm down when this mother (beep) is just (beep) and (beep) and (beep) and (beep).

Jason A:

Well, Dan, let me ask you this. Would you drive that way if you had your grandma in the car?

Dan:

No. No, probably not.

Jason A:

Okay, Dan. So here’s what I want you to do. Next time you drive in and you feel that anger, you feel that road rage coming up, I want you to pause, take a deep breath, and think if I indulge in my anger right now, how is it going to affect those in my car? Got it?

Dan:

I think I can do that. No road raging today, Dan. Jason, check it out. I did what you said. I took a deep breath and I didn’t lose my (beep).

Jason A:

You did it. That’s empathy 101. Congratulations. Since you are so good at this, I think you’re ready to go into a more advanced version of empathy. And that’s why I suggest you, or also those watching this right now, to check out my course. My course is Create The Relationship That You Want Without Leaving Your Home. And you know what, Dan? I think if you and Maddie take the course, your relationship is going to be so much better.

Dan:

Okay.

Jason A:

How’d you like that one?

Dan:

You know what, Jason? I think I’m ready for that course.

Jason A:

Disclaimer: as a therapist, selling stuff to your clients like that is totally unethical. I don’t recommend it. And I don’t do that.

Dan:

Oh my God. Mother (beep). Sorry.