Jason A:

Hey, what's up, everyone? Jason A. Polk giving you some coffee shop relationship advice. And hang on one sec. It's really hot. My choice of tea was peppermint black tea. I highly recommend it.

Jason A:

Anyway, last week, we did dumb guy moves. And it's only fair, I want to even things out. Today, we're going to talk about common female mistakes. And again, I want to give kudos to the Oscar winning actors, Dan and Madi. Check it out.

Jason A:

So in this scenario of a common female mistake, it is continuing to engage your partner even though he has shut down.

Madi:

Why do you do this? You always do this. You're a real piece of work. I tell you what, it's super frustrating to [crosstalk 00:00:52].

Jason A:

So let's say your partner is stone walling. He's shut down. He's overwhelmed. Whatever you do, do not continue to engage. Do not turn up the volume. Do not get angry at your partner because it's just going to make things worse.

Madi:

Nodding your head. Always doing this and doing that.

Jason A:

A way to fix this is to pause, realize that your partner is no longer engaging with you. And say something like ...

Madi:

I'm sorry I came at you so hard. I see you're upset. Let's just talk about this later.

Dan:

Okay.

Jason A:

Okay. So let's take another common female mistake and that is assuming that your partner knows what to do. So let's be real, sometimes us males, we need explicit coaching and you can't assume that we know what to do.

Dan:

Hey babe.

Madi:

What a day. Let me tell you. First, [crosstalk 00:01:55].

Jason A:

So for example, if your partner has a tendency to go into fix-it mode, he is trying his best to make the situation better.

Dan:

Here's what you're going to do. I think what you could do [crosstalk 00:02:05].

Jason A:

However, if you just need space for your partner to listen, you're going to have to explicitly say that. For example ...

Madi:

Dan, I don't want you to fix it. I just want you to listen to me and give me validation.

Dan:

I can do that for you.

Jason A:

All right, well, thank you guys. And aren't Dan and Madi freaking awesome? Oh, wait, hold on one sec. Yeah, man. I'm actually in the middle of a video. Can you call back? Oh, Chinese. Yeah. No just egg rolls. Yeah. Sweet sour sauce. Okay. Thanks bro. Bye. Peace.

Jason A:

So that's the end of our video. Thank you so much for watching. And we'll see you next time. I'm Jason A. Polk.

Jason A:

Okay. We'll see.

Speaker 1:

Very good. Do you want to do one-

Click here to learn more about marriage counseling.